Birthdays and Bachelors

Man! What a day.

When your friend invites you to their birthday party, make sure to ask how long and what the plan is. Otherwise, you’ll start the day dressed like an average person having a delicious breakfast at Gertrude’s Farm to table Botanical Garden, then end the night dressed as a pirate, drinking cocktails out of a Chinese food container at Châm Pang Lanes with a lot of chaos in between.

To start at Gerturds, you know you’re at a great restaurant when you ask the waiter what they recommend, and they look you up and down and say “hot mess!” Excuse me? Oh yeah, that looks delicious. I’ll take it. He was already getting a good tip for the sass but the attentiveness was also appreciated. After a couple of drinks and some great food, I thought the fun was over. Nope! up next, to my surprise, were wine tastings.

Up next was a short trip to LDV Winery in south Scottsdale, right outside of Scottsdale Fashion Square. I wish I was an oenophile because the array of wines was both accessible and delicious to my untrained palate. Good thing I had good friends who have a “refined” taste for adult grape juice or I’d have had to rely on only the staff. Oh, wait! I could have easily done that as they were incredibly gracious with their knowledge of the grapes, locations they are grown, temperature, atmospheres, flavor profiles, etc. I was in safe hands. One thing to note is, They do not have a kitchen here so either bring your own food or prepare to relocate if you get peckish.

At this point, I was thinking, “This has been great so far, there’s no way we could top this…”

“Who wants to go to a Tiki Bar next?”

“…I do!”

We all gathered up our sober selves and stumbled across the street to The Drunk Munk. I don’t have much to say about this beautiful place, other than enjoy the setting and be sure to get a Zombie Kitty.

Well guys I have to go. My friend is getting married soon and tonight is his bachelor party. This has been fun!

Are you going to join us afterward?

Um. What kind of birthday is this?

I get home just in time to change and walk my wonderful dog and fly up to north Scottsdale, pulling in to a parking lot outside of a freaking Castle!!! and rush inside to find the groomsman waiting for me.

Why are you dressed like a pirate?

It’s laundry day.

Welcome Lords and Ladies to Medieval times! by this point in the day I was starting to drag my heels. Yeah no. That’s now allowed here. We are seated above a long arena with the other guests and our serf/host/server/cheer coach Riled us up to hear for our color corresponded knight we aptly named ” Blue”. Cheers were made, hollering was had, Boos were horned, food was served, tables were pounded, literal sparks were flown, and battles were witnessed.

*checks phone

Are you coming out with us tonight?
Sure but I’m dressed like a pirate, is that ok?
Hoh yeah!

Well, boys! thank you for a delightful evening but my night continues elsewhere.

I meet up with the birthday girl and grab a rideshare to Downtown Phoenix

We land outside Châm Pang Lanes greeted by a line of onlookers of the 6”7″ pirate and his normie friends.

This’ll go well.